“I was always told I was mature for my age. Really, I just learned how not to need anything.”

Adults loved me. Teachers, relatives, my parents' friends — everyone said the same thing: you're so mature. So responsible. So easy to talk to. I wore it like a medal for a long time.

It took me years to realize what it actually was. I wasn't mature — I was managing. I learned early that the adults around me had enough going on, so I handled my own feelings. I comforted people instead of asking to be comforted. I figured things out alone because asking felt like adding weight to people already carrying too much.

Being praised for not needing anything teaches you to keep not needing anything, even when you're drowning. I didn't have the words for any of this until I read something online about parentification and just sat there staring at my phone.

I'm seventeen. I'm supposed to be allowed to be a kid sometimes. I'm practicing asking for help with small things first — a ride, advice, a hug. It feels awkward every time. It also feels like the beginning of something.